“After I turned 40, I stopped sleeping. It lingered, almost nightly, for 8 years.
2016- Saw an integrative dr. Told I was getting older & offered BCPs, not giving me a reason why & which I didn’t want. ❌
2018- Went to my OBGYN of 18 years with intermittent anxiety, insomnia, & occasional night sweats. Xanax & Ambien to “sleep through the night sweats”. I declined. ❌
2019- Heart palpitations. Referred to male cardiologist, had full work up & wore monitor for a week. Nothing wrong. Perfect heart. Asked if it could be hormonal: “That’s between you & your OB.” ❌
2019- “Hormone Specialist” -OBGYN who went out on her own & did not accept insurance. Hellacious cycles & extreme exhaustion with all other symptoms. While she spent time with me, she was costly & tried to supplement me out of it. ❌
2021- Saw different doc in original practice to discuss hormone therapy. Told me I wasn’t old enough & that the pill would give me the hormones of a 20 year old. Defeated, I took them for a year. Most of my symptoms abated. Did not like my change in mood & how they made me feel. Didn’t feel 20. ❌
2022 - New OBGYN who also went out on her own & was pricey. Told me BCP was dangerous & offered other hormone therapy which helped but the cost to “check in” was too much.❌
Through this whole process, I read & read & researched & read & knew what was happening. I was in perimenopause. I knew what path I wanted & just needed to find the right practitioner. I dialed in my nutrition & fitness to be the best version of myself before I added something extraneous to my body.
2023- Through NAMS, found a practitioner who listened & agreed with my preferred course of action. She was dismayed by my previous care. She listened & empathized & believed me & didn’t blame my age or tell me to suck it up. ✔️
Now, on HRT, I’m Feeling better & empowered & I want you to also. Don’t settle. Don’t blindly follow.”

“I am 54. This last year felt like I was falling apart. I couldn't workout due to weakness and pain. Recovery took a week. Emotionally I started dealing with anxiety. No libido! All my joints were sore. Have struggled with arthritis in my big toe and thumb. Tried all the good supplements with minimal or small effect. Once HRT started. 2 weeks and I was feeling back to myself. So much so that I considered cancelled my toe surgery. Do your research and talk to your MD. It'll be worth it.”

“I have been examined and given attempted treatment for (and sent to various docs, all looking at things individually) inflammation (high CRP), hair loss, crazy periods, fatigue, sleep issues, osteopenia, new allergies, bloating, and more. Not once has perimenopause or menopause been mentioned. I'm now 51 and my periods just stopped. I'm doing research and connecting the dots. It seems as though, since I didn't have hot flashes or night sweats, perimenopause was never considered.”

“Battling Triple Positive Breast Cancer at 41 had me in “medical menopause” for 3 years. I was led to believe that my hot flashes, joint pain, fatigue, irritability and “am I going crazy?” moments were a side effect of my aromotase inhibitor medication - Letrozole. Then, I had a full hysterectomy at 44… Now, in full blown menopause, I lost all sexual desire and gained a quick 15 pounds around my middle. My whole life feels upside down! WHO AM I?? And what can be done to help me? As a breast cancer survivor who no longer has ovaries or a uterus, will ERT or HRT help? Will it harm?”

“Around 2012 I suddenly was 4 months late for my period. I was always refula. Never had a problem getting pregnant. Had one miscarriage. So here I am at 35 being 4 months late feeling panicky... took a test after the first month and I wasn’t pregnant. So when I finally got my period I was basically hemorrhaging. I went to the hospital with a towel between my legs. My hemoglobin was 69 and I needed a blood transfusion. That happened two more times. I was given an IUD and was good for 9 years.. before the IUD I was really anxious and questioning maybe it’s my hormones.. I was told by an obgyn that it couldn't be I was too young.

“So 9years later needed the IUD replaced and I requested a hysterectomy to which I was greeted with a chuckle. Ok try another IUD.. it migrated to my cervix had to have it removed. 400$ wasted. I was referred to another obgyn as I had moved in that time. I pushed for a hysterectomy. This one agreed. I had it sone February 2022. He left my ovaries. Almost 2 weeks to the day I started having hot flashes like every 10 mins.. might sweats.. I called the doc and I was told that my ovaries were just missing their friends and it would sort itself out. It seemed to have lessened. It is now 2023 and I go to the doc and push for some testing because the night sweats are horrendous I sleep on a towel. My doc tells me I'm premenopausal. Try some natural things for now.. left. I need relief.. meanwhile I've been diagnosed with 4 different anxiety disorders. I have SVT. But the heart palpitations are awful creating more anxiety. I didn't sweat for 10 years.. I had bariateic surgery and now I sweat which apparently is normal but the night sweats..yuck. the hot flashes come with hives. I recently saw a naturopath. She tells me I'm actually in menopause. My doc still won't give me HRT as I've had blood clots in my lung in the past.
I take evening primrose oil, vitamin d vitamin c and a prebiotic. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I am not myself. I live in fear everyday and I believe it is this menopause with zero help..”

“I had read all of the books and knew what was happening. I tried to express this to my doctors (three in all) and was told I was probably right and was prescribed antidepressants and headache meds. No one took a blood test or recommended a hormone panel. These were all female doctors and they were sympathetic, but they were all young and couldn’t understand, so didn’t take it seriously. It felt dismissive. I would say I didn’t want antidepressants, I wanted support. They would all say “everyone is on them”. I’ve now switched doctors again and asked for the hormone panel and just said to her “Hey, I know my body and I know what’s happening.” I’m thankful there is information out there for us to get our hands on, but saddened that we are guiding our own care.”

“Well, these stories cannot be short. I began perimenopause a couple of years ago, but didn't know it. I had been taking birth control pills for 33 years and took them continuously to prevent periods for more than a decade. When the "noticeable" symptoms started about 15 months ago, it was extremely difficult to get a doctor to listen, to understand, and to recognize what was going on. I finally had to educate and advocate for myself. I started reading and reading and was able to clearly communicate to both a therapist (she determined I did not need therapy) and a GP that what I needed was HRT. 2023 was a very difficult year. The doctors’ appointments, the disappointments and list of symptoms almost pushes you to a breaking point. I have now been on HRT for two months and the difference was immediate. We aren't done yet, because I need to allow a bit longer for my body to adjust and we need to figure out the proper dosages. I now tell me story to anyone that will listen because I was blindsided and didn't know what was happening. It is something out of nightmare when you don't recognize yourself and your behavior feels beyond your control. I am now doing everything I can to empower our next generation so they can be prepared, not scared.”

 “I had debilitating anxiety around age 47. I am not an anxious person. No history of this condition. My doctor told me it was all in my head and to see a psychologist. After a 1 hour appointment with a psychologist she told me that I have OCD and generalized anxiety disorder. I need to take Prozac for the rest of my life. Thank God I didn’t listen to either one of them. I tracked down a functional Dr who treated my perimenopause symptoms with progesterone. This man literally saved my life. The worst part of this story is that my primary doc and the psychologist she referred me to are both female and in their 50s.”

“Hi! I’m a 58-year-old female. I’ve worked 24 years as a nurse and a few years ago I became certified as a wellness and life coach to help women with changing hormones. I had a terrible experience with peri-menopause and full menopause at 44! I have 3 sisters that were also early 40s when they went through menopause as well as my mom who is 84 this year. I left my FT nursing job and have a coaching business, blog and am creating a digital course. We need to educate and support women going through hormonal (physical and mental) changes with holistic choices and HRT when appropriate!”

“Surgical Menopause twelve years ago. Removal of ovary. No information totally oblivious to what impact it would have on my mental health. Hit perimenopause like hitting a brick wall! For four years given antidepressants and the mini pill. Researched myself, started a Support Group and finally realized I needed HRT. The battle is real! I was sent for two ECG’s as thought I was having a heart attack, suffered with countless UTI’s, experienced an extremely painful hysteroscopy followed by another under GA! I became a shadow of my former self, hated myself, very depressed, my anxiety was huge! It has taken years of being gaslit but I am finally getting my life back on track! I am on HRT + testosterone. Knowledge is power and I wish to god I’d have known what was to come following the surgery because not one GP or Specialist informed me - not one! If they had, I might have been better prepared….”

“If I am honest, I started perimenopause 10 years ago when I was 35. I had just moved to Atlanta, changed careers from being a teacher to a scientist. I noticed that my cycles became so heavy I would soak through a pad in less than 30 minutes. I had two periods in one month. I was having hot flashes. I made an appointment with my OP/GYN. She said, “You are not having hot flashes. It’s just July in Georgia. It’s hot. And your heavy cycles there seems to be no cause.” She had already performed an ultrasound and said, “You have the uterus of a 26-year-old. I would suggest you have more children if you want.” The only thing she did was put me on birth control pills. I stayed on them for 10 years. And then I developed diabetes. Not wanting my hormones thrown off by the birth control pills I stopped taking them. And when I stopped so did my period. I went to the doctor again. I said look my diabetes is under control, I stopped the birth control pills and now my period has stopped. Please test me for perimenopause. And sure enough, technically I am not in menopause because it has not been a year since my last period, yet. But I don’t expect to see her any time soon. If I look back, I had all the signs 10 years ago. I wish I had listened to my gut and forced her to test me then and not just dismiss me.”

“In 2018 after the combined contraceptive pill was stopped, I started to suffer from insomnia. I knew it was related to stopping the pill after over 35 years taking it. I asked for HRT but refused as I had no hot flushes. Antidepressants and sleeping pills were my treatment. Then I lost my appetite and lost over 4 stones in less than five months.

Anxiety panic attacks, hair loss memory loss. Constantly asked for HRT.
Became so desperate for help. Doctor then prescribed Diazapan.
Jan 2019 could hardly walk as so weak. Housebound. I took a large overdose, on purpose. I didn't want to live, was only existing. Spent four months in a locked ward. Took me till June 2021 to get HRT.
Within weeks started to improve and never looked back.
I lost my job family friends. Totally devastated my life.
I'm 62 and now run a menopause support drop-in group as there's no support whatsoever.”

“I was going through severe hot flashes whilst working on two major tradeshows. All the presentations were in the summer. It was laughable how sweaty and red in the face I'd get! I think for most women the embarrassment in the workplace is the worst hurdle. 90% of the time men don't know what's going on, they just think you're hot or a sweaty person. But, for me, it's the women, whose judgy raised eyebrows are always a soul crusher. I had an easy time of it, my partner, is an incredibly supportive person. He wanted to know everything that was going on and frankly it made our relationship much stronger. Ultimately, we found humor in it. A lot of women keep what is happening to their body to themselves, so their male counterparts don't know what's going on. By now, my partner knows more about the female anatomy than most women! 🤣 For all the downsides, however, I've never been happier. I adore not having my period. The up and down rollercoaster of hormones, the monthly cramps. I'm more even. And, a better version of me: intellectually, physically, creatively. I think getting older for women has been publicized as taboo for a reason: I feel my power after I turned 50—I came into my own. I can do bloody anything.” :)

“Having to explain to your 30 something male boss that no you’re not losing your marbles even though it feels like it some days and you try your hardest every day to reach your targets when it might take you a 10- hour work day to do so. That you have 35 years of work experience but can’t remember what you had for breakfast. It’s so hard to admit that you’re not that woman anymore, and that you try not to let the crushing panic in your chest that you feel every day overwhelm you. How do you explain that some days you want to jack it all in and run far away from everyone and everything. How do you put that feeling into words?? Let me tell you what a struggle it is everyday.”

“My journey with starting perimenopause at 35 and deep into menopause at 45, has been a very long and arduous process. My doctors wanted to give me antidepressants for my perimenopause. I did try it but not for long. With my perimenopause I didn't have too many symptoms but when I got deep into menopause… completely different story. I have the hot flashes, getting overheated at night, highly irritable, fatigue, night sweats, osteoporosis, sweating and sleep: early awakening. During that first decade no doctor would help. I went to an internist and they put me on several different supplements to try which actually worked for a while. I went on HRT in 2018 and stopped in 2022. It didn't stop most of the symptoms just lessened them. The feeling of just being completely out of control like you're living in somebody else's body. I explained this to my doctors but nothing. I was completely opposite the way I usually am. I would get angry so easy and just glad outside not nice things to everybody because of being irritable constantly.

I explained it to my son as women we start periods and get ready to be able to have babies and what menopause is reversing that. However, it is or can be very awful to go through unlike puberty. There is definitely not enough out there to help women and doctors don't care. Too often they just suggest an antidepressant and not really treating what's going on. My three sisters and I have all gone through menopause about the same time but all having different symptoms. I by far have the worst. There definitely needs to be more discussion and education and research to help women especially like me where symptoms are awful and debilitating. Women need to talk about it like having a baby. it shouldn't be taboo. I tell everybody I'm hot and have menopause most of the time I get a laugh. I refuse to suffer in silence.”

“I thought I would be well into my 50’s when menopause hit. Other than not having a period, I knew next to nothing about symptoms. I started my period when I was 16. Menopause seemed decades away. Fast forward to December of 2017. I was diagnosed with early stage zero ductal carcinoma in situ. After surgery, I learned there were a few breakout cells and it was the deadly HER2 positive breast cancer, stage 2.

I was 46 at the time. Suddenly, I needed 6 rounds of scorch the earth chemo and a year of immunotherapy. I would have a port surgically inserted in my chest. I had a less than 50% chance of surviving if I decided against treatment. They overwhelmed me with info. I was a single mom with a 4-yr-old daughter. The oncologist mentioned that sometimes menopause happened after treatment, but not to worry, “You’re young! You’ll be fine.” I was worried—about surviving. The last thing on my mind was menopause. I was taking a deep dive into cancer research. Looking back, I wish I could have protected my ovaries or done something to prevent the instant ceasing of a period. This wasn’t gradual menopause. This was from zero to 120 mph into a concrete wall menopause and I was the crash test dummy. I never had another period after the first chemo infusion.

(I refused radiation and I am glad to this day that I made that choice for my very sensitive body.)

Six months after the last immunotherapy session I was pulling out of a Starbucks drive-thru. I’ll never forget looking down and feeling my hand brush agains a protruding belly. MY belly. It felt like someone had secretly installed a basketball in my abdomen. It was a “where did this come from” moment for me. I’ve always been a pear shape, small waste with hips and ample bottom. Suddenly I’m an apple? That was only the beginning of my struggles. Incessant migraine headaches, foggy brain and waking up at 2 AM for no apparent reason. No one told me that when I came out of cancer treatment I would never return to my former self. I would cease to be the dynamo I once was. I could starve myself and exercise till the end of time, but the weight will refuse to budge. My short-term memory went on hiatus. I didn’t have hot flashes, thank God! But I woke up feeling as though I needed more sleep—no matter how many hours I had slept.

If I went for chemo, they assured me, I would live. But I’m merely existing. I haven’t gone back to my career as an actor because i can’t find the owners manual to this damn body I don’t recognize. Honestly, it’s taken four years to feel better after the worst chemo and to deal with the symptoms of menopause at the same time. I’ve spent thousands of dollars on naturopaths, bio-identical hormones, and a doctor on Instagram whose program was so involved and intricate that I gave up halfway through his program. They refused to give me any money back. It was all an attempt to feel better and to look better and none of it worked. If one more person says to me, “At least your alive” I’m going to scream.

I think it’s time to recognize the very real charges that menopause creates in women and how these women are treated in our culture, by men, by other women and even doctors. My OBGYN told me that it’s just something I have to accept and live with. She referred to my belly as a menopot belly. In a culture obsessed with young and thin, I honestly don’t know where I fit in anymore. I’m basically 24/7 Mommy who rarely goes out and is trying to do all I can to stay healthy and surrender to what is while being grateful for the many blessings I do have in my life.”

“At age 49 I went from feeling ‘not myself’ to feeling like I was losing my mind in around 12 months.
I was constantly under a dark cloud for no reason, I wanted to quit my job but couldn’t articulate what I wanted to do, I awoke everything night at 4am, I avoided conversations as I would blank on words and I had zero energy.
I found scraps of information on symptoms but couldn’t find a credible source to help me understand what I was going through.
My GYN talked about Peri Menopause but I couldn’t/didn’t connect the dots.
It wasn’t until I pushed for a blood test to check my hormone levels did my Dr take the time to discuss options and outcomes, then I felt I had someone in my corner.
Turns out I was right in the middle of menopause. I chose to start HRT (patch and pill) and immediately felt better, literally in the same week. I slept through the night, my mood lifted and the dark clouds went away. It took a few adjustments to get my patch strength in check and after seeing more organizations in the US and UK start campaigns, I felt like I wasn’t running solo.
Am now 54 and for the first time in 5 years, I feel like I’m in the right place mentally and physically.”

“I travelled the world 3 times by myself, could conquer anything I put my mind to. Then I hit peri menopause when I turned 48 and my world turned upside down. Anxiety, body aches, no sleep, no libido, nights sweats and anger. I asked for help then….I’m still suffering at 54…I’m Australian….this lack of understanding is worldwide!”

“My story... I don’t want this to be my story…maybe growing pains, my way of checking out the medical system for when I really do need it, or is it like one of my many jigsaw puzzles? I will figure out where the pieces go, take a break, come back and try again, and eventually put all the pieces together to put them back in the box and away forever! No, I don’t want to save and frame them!

I want to start by thanking urgent care and my best friend of 30-plus years, a single 58-year-old male who is always there for me at 3:00 AM! My emergency contact! I usually call him to take me to the ER and then we start googling and he calms me down until urgent care is open. He gave me an ice pack for my vagina when we didn’t know what else to do! By the way, it worked. No one wants to go to the ER. Menopause has beaten me up. I have been healthy all my life…No broken bones, no major allergies, no Crohn’s, no braces…I got the chicken pox with the rest of the neighbourhood. I had a dentist, a primary care doctor, and a gynecologist.

It started with my migraines; I have been getting migraines since I started getting my period. My first one was at the age of 12, I screamed in the bathroom and yelled Mom I’m going blind. It was my first aura. She apologized and still apologizes every time I get one because they are hereditary.

It was during COVID-19, and I was getting headaches every day it has been so hard to get an appointment with any doctor.
My primary doctor suggested I get an MRI while waiting for an appointment with a neurologist. She/He was going to need it anyway. The MRI found a golf ball-sized mass behind my right eye sitting nicely on my optic nerve A Cavernous Venous Malformation. WHAT THE FUCK?

I now have a neurologist, two neurologists, a neuro-ophthalmologist, an ophthalmologist specializing in eye surgery, an optometrist, an ophthalmologist specializing in dry eye and I now wear glasses. Oh, my eyesight is not your go-to CVS and buy readers but one eye is nearsighted and one is farsighted, one is blurry and one is not as blurry… and my right eyelid is a little wonky…only if you really look can you see it is bulging a little bit…but why not, there is golf ball behind it. If I am tired and watching TV lying on my left side, I get to see double…but that’s not enough to panic and go to the ER…Just a normal side effect of the mass…I have bigger issues now…

Hot flashes, anxiety, depression, night sweats, a stomach, chin hair, constipation, diarrhoea, knee pain, one nail that will not grow, grey hair, coarse hair, dry eye, rosacea in my eyes AND on my cheeks, Ashkenazi dense boobs, a closet full of clothes but nothing fits and a cabinet full of alcohol that I cannot drink anymore.

I can drink, but I don’t because I will just get a headache. I get monthly injections and Botox in my head, neck, and shoulders every 3 months. We check the golf ball size mass once a year to check the speed of growth and check that my eyesight isn’t changing. If I do start to see double I should go to the ER immediately.

I started HRT a month before my gynecologist of 25 years retired. The gynecologist didn’t want me to go on HRT (Migraines) I had to get two doctor’s notes from both of the neurologists to say it was okay to start HRT. My female primary doctor stepped in to help... That's been fun, getting the right dose, I had an allergic reaction to one of the patches, multiple yeast infections, or is it now just a dry vagina? I would like to go off but it is ok to just stop? I messed up the patches and had too much estrogen...felt like I had caffeine running through my veins and up all night thinking I was going to have a stroke. My gynecologist was right, this was a mistake. The pharmacist said to relax and cut the patch in half.

I had my hormones tested some not all... I don't know why but my TPO was off the charts and still may be off the charts, not sure I have the energy to figure that out until I have the energy to find a new doctor. Oh and the MRI showed a tiny something on the pituitary gland... They say nothing to worry about...This is too much for one person to digest

My brain looks great! Just had to throw that in because that is what the doctor said after looking at my MRI…Some good news and I don’t have to worry about macular degeneration. WOOHOO

Every once in a while, I treat myself to a day in NYC for shopping, a meal or two, and reflexology. I never tell the masseuse my issues, I try to see if she feels it in my feet! She always does. I was stressed out from work, and thought maybe I had an ulcer, and some discomfort in my stomach but was it in my head? Ugh, something else? Another doctor. My father had colon cancer, I just had a colonoscopy in March no cancer but diverticula. Was that acting up? What does it feel like??? The masseuse said to get your upper GI checked it is acting up… Yes, I know…now what? I had bacteria, A H.Pylori antigen to be specific

I am 55 very soon to be 56 and would love a week without any medical issues... I am not old. I have more medical issues than my 85-year-old mother and take more medication than she does! Oh, and I recently had a UTI and my left knee dislocated...that's been fun...”

“I’ll keep this short, and wrap it up in a menopause bow - I am professionally successful, have 2 beautiful adult kids, ended a 20 year marriage amicably, purchased a fun, fast car, a wonderful house, and yet, I didn’t recognize who I was…..and I wanted to end it all. If there was a pill that would have done that, with no hesitation I would have taken it.”

“I’m 65, over ten years into menopause and still struggling to find hormone balance for optimal health. I tell all my younger GFs, get a baseline hormone test and find a trustworthy professional who can recommend supplements (some over the counter) to attempt to maintain balance, NOW. (Not your grandmother’s HRT.) It doesn’t get any easier. There’s a lot more important problems than hot flashes. My ancient Chinese acupuncturist would say, sleep is the best medicine. And I’d whine, what if it is totally elusive (for decades!) Sleep affects cortisol and A1C (weight, pre-diabetes, brain function and cognition,) all vital for longevity. And that’s the real goal - with quality of life.”

“I started noticing changes to my menstrual cycle when I was 46. They were heavier and painful. By 48, I was having 3 periods in every month (that’s every 2 weeks!) I saw a number of doctors during the following 6 years. I was told that most women sail through this process and there was no reason to believe that my experience would be any different, just because I’m disabled. (Which wasn’t my concern, or the point!). By 2019, I was so overwhelmed by an avalanche of symptoms that I went back to see my doctor. I wasn’t sailing through this… I was sinking. I tried to explain that my libido was like wet cardboard but this was met with ableism. It was clear that the doctor assumed I was asexual because of my disability as they looked at me as though I had asked them to solve an algebra equation! Long story short, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and prescribed antidepressants. In the end, I had to pay for private menopause support and started HRT, which has changed my life (and my husband’s!). There needs to be more conversations about perimenopause and disability, because this is not understood or being adequately addressed. I suffered unnecessarily for 6 years and I don’t want other disabled women to go through this.”

“At just 44 years old I was at an important meeting and suddenly every pore in my body starting sweating. I didn’t know what was happening. Nobody talked about it and I didn’t have anyone in my family to ask about it. The next 10 years were hell. I believed I was bipolar, seriously as I went through an incredible “dark period” in which I didn’t know whether I was coming or going. I got about 2 hours of sleep at night because of night sweats, racing mind, etc. No one to talk to (again, no one was talking about it). When I entered my 50’s through the grace of God, and incredible support from my husband I slowly came out of whatever hell I was in. I talked to my “doctor” about it but I was told, “We can’t put you on hormones because it increases cancer risk.” Honestly, if the health care industry had been doing even a small amount of research to help women through this, we’d be in a very different place. Sadly, menopause is a low priority and people just don’t talk about it. I’m talking about it and I want to be vocal so that my daughter and granddaughter don’t have to go through something that no one talks about. We NEED to talk about it. So grateful for this “leap” in to the US!! Better late than never, right? I just turned 62, still have periodic hot flashes, nothing like I did but I’m hopeful that my story will inspire others to talk more about it and to talk to their health care professionals. It’s long overdue.” #gratitude

“I had been working as a youth worker for seven years in a juvenile justice remand centre. I was in my late forties and all of sudden I was becoming anxious over just about everything. I put it down to maybe burn out. One morning I woke up feeling ghastly and I had to run to the toilet with diarrhoea. I thought I must have a stomach virus. I went to the doctor and she was dismissive of my symptoms and when I started to cry she told me this was not the time for tears. Anyway I started to spiral with anxiety digestive issues twitches in my legs and hyper vigilant behaviour. When I fell down the stairs and broke my foot I gave up my job. We then moved interstate and my periods were becoming erratic and my breasts were tender. I became depressed and miserable. I had convinced myself I had an undiagnosed disease. After numerous doctor appointments and tests which made me worse I ended up in hospital. I left hospital a few days later and as I was waiting for my partner to pick me up a male nurse came over to me and said I think you are going through perimenopause. First time anyone had mentioned it. He told me to take valium for a week and accept the journey. Well it worked one month later it all settled down because I accepted that I was going through the change. Thank you to that make nurse and my partner who had supported me throughout my nightmare.”

“I was 51 and newly post-menopausal. Job was stressful. Parenting was stressful. Crazy insomnia. Daily hot flashes. I asked an endocrinologist (study of hormone systems, right?) friend what to do - she said she didn’t have any menopause training. Heart palpitations drove me to see a cardiologist. He said the they were due to lack of sleep, which he attributed to stress. He advised me to buy a cooling gel mattress to help with sleep (which I was so desperate, I DID, and it helped). I found my way to valerian root which also helped tremendously for sleep. It wasn’t until i was prepping for my wedding, working out every day, dieting, losing no weight, and starting to have pain during sex, that I FINALLY saw a menopause specialist. Within 2 weeks of starting small dose estrogen & progesterone, my workouts became more effective, the pain stopped, and I was sleeping. “Why didn’t you see your PCP?” many will ask… I’m normally insanely healthy and never go to the doctor, so I didn’t have one. Please train all doctors (even cardiologists and endocrinologists - everyone!) to ALWAYS refer menopausal women to menopause specialists!”

“It’s happening! I was told hot flashes would last 1 year. Well I’m going on 4 years! My last cycle was May of 2021, I was 55 years old when I had my last period. Prior to that in January of 2021 I bled for about 20 days straight - I called it the grand finale. We were still in the throes of COVID-19 and I had to go to the hospital.

My mother was given a hysterectomy when she was 38 years old, and didn’t get to naturally move through the process as I have.,.it’s not for the faint of heart.
Ladies, everything I ingest affects me either positively or negatively. Coffee-hot flash, any type of pepper-hot flash, sugar-hot flash. Drinking water may prove to be a temporary antidote as well as Curcumin supplements.

I’m looking to Stripes for all the nuggets of wisdom this community can provide.”

“I’m 58 years old, a nurse for 24 years and I entered menopause at 44. I suffered through peri-menopause in my late 30s early 40s. Weight gain, mental challenges, hot flashes and night sweats. I relied on processed food, sugar and alcohol. I became very unhealthy. I hired a wellness coach, lost 18 pounds after changing my lifestyle choices and was so inspired I stepped away from my stressful nursing career and became a menopause wellness coach. I was not taught and did not know how to help my patients. My business helps women change habits surrounding perimenopause and beyond to be their best selves.”

“I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 29 and underwent aggressive treatment, including tamoxifen. I experienced hot flashes, night sweats and irrationality then but nothing compared to the severity of symptoms I had when I underwent surgical menopause at age 42. It has been 3 years since I have had my ovaries removed (there is a history of ovarian cancer in my family) and I am miserable. I have gained 20 pounds that no combination of exercise or diet seems to help. I have 10-20 hot flashes a day which are extremely uncomfortable but also very embarrassing as people don’t expect someone my age to be in menopause. I also suffer irritability and mood swings. I visited an endocrinologist who told me to “learn to live with it.” I am not a candidate for HRT because my cancer was ER/PR positive. It took me attending a conference for young breast cancer survivors to learn (from Dr Menn) that vaginal estrogen is indeed safe; I lost 3 years before I experienced the relief that came with this treatment. Being in surgical menopause, these symptoms came on fast and furious and am often left wondering if removing my risk of ovarian cancer was worth it. That is how bad it is; I might actually chose to be at a high risk for ovarian cancer rather than feel as I do. There are very little options for us hormone receptive cancer survivors and it often feels like I am just surviving day to day.”

“I was very successful; I was a nurse for 33 years and 20 years in management and I found myself not sleeping so I started drinking more just to try to go to sleep, which is not the right thing to do as we all know.  I had a horrible boss, and she was a micromanager, and I was very successful at turning things around but when you can’t sleep, you start to doubt yourself and I wish to God I could change things because I was so great in leadership.

I unfortunately haven’t been able to do that and I’m taking antidepressants and I take melatonin and sometimes I sleep sometimes I don’t, but if you could turn this around and for people to really understand that means a lot to me and that’s why I’m responding today. I see my doctor regularly at Northwestern M, he’s a man he probably doesn’t understand it but it’s really difficult right now I’ve not been able to get back to a regular job. I still struggle with sleeping and I’m in menopause, but this started before I even stopped having my period so before menopause. I wish you much success to help us because yes, I feel like it is a disability.”

“I was someone who considered herself a badass. I raised 3 children and worked full time in a stressful job as a legal assistant. I managed to take up running when I was 43 when I was no longer running my kids to their activities. After a few years of running, I was able to train for 3 Chicago marathons. Then when I turned 51 everything became harder. I cannot get a full 6 hours of sleep to save my life. My body (which has never been perfect) was now going downhill fast. I lost my desire to run because I am tired all the time. If I even look at something unhealthy I gain 10 pounds. I have packed on an extra 27 pounds in a seemingly short amount of time without changing my routine or diet and cannot lose a pound to save my life! I can be walking in 20 degree weather from the train to my office and have a hot flash that has me removing layers of clothing as I walk. I wake up 3-4 times (sometimes more) a night with massive night sweats and have to change my pajamas.

When I’m at work I’m easily distracted, cannot concentrate and have to dress strategically so I can remove a layer at any given time without offending my co-workers. I see how many employers consider women my age as less valuable. They bend over backwards to accommodate younger employees while the aging female work force slowly become invisible and disposable and not taken seriously. Personally, my marriage has become two people who love each other immensely, but live like roommates. We can’t sleep in the same room because I keep getting up and if I sleep next to my husband it just triggers more hot flashes that are even more intense. I have zero - and I mean zero - sex drive. I miss being sexually active and feeling attractive. I know I’m depressed and don’t have interest in anything like before. There are times I feel hopeless. This story is proof of how my thoughts are all over the place. So much to say and I feel insane just typing this! If menopause was something men experienced it would have been addressed decades ago.”

“I was 44 when I had a full hysterectomy, ovaries out and went into surgical menopause. In the last 3 years I have been denied the levels of estrogen I need by my doctors as a young woman going through surgical menopause. I had to give up my job of 5 years as I wasn't capable of doing it anymore my brain wouldn't work or remember anything. I have also been left with depleting estrogen levels which effected my mental health so bad I wanted to die. And my own doctor left me and told me to go to the emergency room. I am still fighting now for my estrogen levels to be really high as I need them high, but so-called doctors and menopause specialists think they know better, but they don't at all. I am where I am today through my own survival.”

“I suffered the menopause at the age of 29, I am now 66. I had one daughter at the age of 26 and conceived her within 3 months of stopping the contraceptive pill. However while trying for a 2nd baby just 2 years later I developed hot flushes and then my periods suddenly stopped. My doctor said I must be pregnant but I did not have the symptoms of morning sickness that I experienced in my first pregnancy and pregnancy tests were negative. After returning to my doc I was referred to a Gynaecologist who put me on what ended up being a very long waiting list for a laparoscopy to investigate the cause for my amenorrhoea. The laparoscopy showed no abnormalities, but the results of blood tests I had following it confirmed that I had in-fact suffered a premature menopause. The Consultant advised me that I would need to take HRT for the rest of my life to remain well and indeed told me that the consequences of not having HRT would most likely result in my death by heart attack by the age of 40. I asked regarding the possibility of IVF but as this was in it’s early years I was told I would not be eligible as I already had one child and therefore would not be considered for this treatment. I was therefore given a prescription for HRT and simply discharged from the clinic with no counselling to help me process this devastating diagnosis.

Over the years I was changed to numerous different HRTs as I suffered with distressing side effects of pain, heavy bleeding and bloating and eventually in my late 40’s and suffering with haemorrhagia I was advised I had large endometrial fibroids and must stop HRT immediately and that I would probably need a hysterectomy. I avoided the hysterectomy by stopping the HRT resulting in the fibroids dramatically shrinking to nothing over the next 6 months, although I did have 6 months of misery and feeling dreadful as a result of the hormonal fallout from stopping the HRT. The devastating diagnosis of a premature menopause at such an early age affected my relationship with my husband who would not consider adopting a child and who did not understand the grief I went through and symptoms I had to cope with as a result of HRT and my desire for another child and eventually contributed to our relationship ending. I have read extensively about the causes of early menopause but in my case I had not had or been treated for cancer; my mother had 4 children and indeed she had me and my twin brother when she was 40 so I never have known the cause. My one daughter has two sons, the first when she was 29 and second when she was 35. I was told by one consultant that there could have been an autoimmune cause and I may have had a simple virus which did not make me feel unwell but this remains a mystery. I am so pleased that there is so much more support available now for early menopause sufferers because there was nothing offered all those years ago.”

“My husband and I have not had sex in years because no matter how I tried to approach a conversation about what I was going through he refused to talk about it. (He even avoided any care of our dog when she was in heat.). My interest in sex was less and intercourse was sometimes painful. I finally broke down in tears almost hysterically, one night and wouldn’t let him touch me. He never asked why and never touched me again.”

“Looking back I have probably been perimenopausal for about 5 years ( I am 50 years old ) I suffered postnatal depression with all 3 of my grown up children and have been on antidepressants for years . About 5 years ago I started suffering for the very first time with crippling anxiety, I was given another 2 different antidepressants to try and combat this. I mentioned to my gp I thought maybe it could possibly be the start of menopause but I was dismissed immediately. The last 12 months have been living hell. The constant anxiety was crippling so much so I wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. I had an overwhelming feeling of being homesick as a child . I had insomnia, memory fog, hot flashes , irregular periods, heavy bleeding, it all became so bad that I shut myself away from friends and family and I literally couldn’t hold a conversation. I felt like the bubbly confident old me had been put away in a cupboard and someone I didn’t recognise had come out the cupboard and taken over my life. Again my gp wasn’t interested and upped all my medication but I knew this wasn’t the answer and after all the research I knew it was menopause. I somehow found the desperate strength to see a different doc who did listen and ask me what I wanted to do, I said I wanted to get off the antidepressants and try hrt . I’m four months in to my new her medication and off all my other medication and I feel better than I have in years . It’s not perfect but I’m getting there. I’m so sad I didn’t get listened too for the 4 years but you just have to do your research and demand the help you deserve. I literally feel like a new person . I’m so angry that women are needing to fight so hard for medication that can change their lives , that some Doctors are so under trained in this area and that they dismiss you and make you feel stupid. My advice to anyone is keep going and somehow find the strength to get what you deserve and to take back control of your life. I never want to feel as bad as I did ever again . I will keep educating myself, speak to friends and not treat the menopause like a dirty secret that you just have to live with . Women should never be denied basic hormones that our bodies need. I hope this helps to give some women the strength they need to keep going until they get the help and hormones that they desperately need”

“My friends noticed my symptoms before I did nearly four years ago. I suffered from debilitating brain fog, lack of focus, loss of confidence, low mood, poor sleep and at times, chronic anxiety. I thought I was having some kind of mid life breakdown and at times, dementia. I left my job of 9 years because I just didn't feel I could function any longer. I've been on HRT patches on and off for nearly 4 years, and need regular check ups to see what symptoms are worse/better. I still feel there is room for improvement, but it's a very expensive experience and it just shouldn't be.”

“When I started getting symptoms of the Menopause I went to see my Doctor who did a test and confirmed that I was indeed going through ‘the change'. When I asked him if I could have HRT he checked my notes and declined my request due to the fact that my Mother has suffered from Thrombosis in her past. This was on my notes as it was a question asked when I went onto the Contraceptive Pill years before. I asked him what I should do to help with my symptoms of hot sweats, sleepless nights, anxiety etc. He said to look into the natural supplements and to drink at least a pint of milk a day to help with maintaining my bones. I started to take over the counter Sleeping Tables and consequently got addicted to them. The pint of milk a day didn't help much either other than helping to put on weight. I feel I was very let down by my doctor and was left to suffer in silence.”

“In 2011 I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer at the age of 43 and received Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy treatment. With the onset of this, Menopause was brought on quicker and I’ve been suffering ever since. I’m unable to have HRT like most women and have been left out by not having any help. I’ve had years of suffering from Depression, Anxiety, Mood Swings, Flushes and Night Sweats to mention just a few and Suicidal thoughts. I have been prescribed a high dose of Anti Depressants, but finding it’s not working as well now. My partner does not listen to how I’m feeling and looks at me as though I’m inhuman and I’m crying most days, feeling frustrated that no-one is listening to me. I feel alone and that I can’t live my life, I’m just existing.”

“I am a partner in a large law firm, deeply experienced in what I do. My colleagues enjoy a laugh at my expense when my memory fails me and are completely oblivious to the impact perimenopause might be having, notwithstanding various awareness raising initiatives by HR. Disappointingly, this includes younger female colleagues. I worry there’s something wrong with my brain. It’s humiliating and I am seriously considering leaving the law.”

“Was told initially I was too young to be peri menopausal so was put on anti depressants, put on 2 stone in 2 months which made me feel worse…3 years later just had total hysterectomy. Was discharged with no advice or HRT, contacted doctor a month after op to be told they won’t give it to me must go back to surgeon! It took me 6 months of going backwards and forwards to finally get a prescription which once I put in was told it’s out of stock. All the time I’m tearful, not sleeping, having night sweats, losing my hair, skin has gone dry and the brain fog is soooo bad I go to bed because I cannot cope with anything or remember anything. Why is it so hard?”

“I found it and are still finding it extremely hard to get any help from my doctor , I eventually , after giving up my job of 16 years , got hrt but still I’m not right , I mentioned giving up my job as I don’t think I meant too , it was the dreaded menopause, my hrt needs tweaking as I’m still not right but I can’t get to see my doctor and just clinging on to the little bit of sanity I’ve got left , I can’t remember being normal , I’m crabby most of the time and so lethargic that I can’t move some days , sometimes I worry that can it be hormones that are doing all this to me … got no one to talk to it about as I feel pathetic some days.”

“I work in a male dominated environment and the word menopause returns zero results on the regulatory bodies website. It doesn’t even accept it exists. I am really really scared. I know that the symptoms I could suffer will potentially make me unfit to do my job temporarily but that I have no choice but to try to carry on. It’s frightening. I can’t declare myself unfit from menopause symptoms without grave consequences….”

“I’m 60 years old, had hysterectomy 6 years ago due to prolapse of uterus, bladder and bowel. I was already going through menapause at this time. After the hysterectomy the menapause became much much worse. Sweats to the point I even googled to see if it was possible to combust because I get so hot from the inside. I was prescribed hrt for 3 years that helped immensely but after this time I had to have a medication review and was told I should have gone through the change now and couldn't have any more. I'm not on any other medication and rarely go to doctors but I was told they would couldn't prescribe any more. It's as bad as it ever was, hot sweats so that I'm dripping, anxiety, emotional, don't sleep well, itchy skin. This has gone on for 3 years since I stopped the hrt and it's not getting less frequent or less symptoms.”

“I've contended serious illness throughout my life but menopause has affected me the worst. I've lost my identity and see an anxious stranger when I look in the mirror.”

 “Firstly went to my doc 5 yrs ago saying my period stopped and feeling depressed, not myself etc, I was made redundant, evicted from my flat, split with my boyfriend, had to sell my car etc, could only afford a grubby bedsit on my own and all in the space of 3 months, he gave me antidepressant (I did not take) Went back to doc still feeling v low. He said i have no periods due to stress and gave me another antidepressant. I did not take them and I explained again I still have no period, I said would take them as he would not give me a sick note otherwise. Then I needed another sick note, went back to a woman doc as my other doc was not in, she did not believe me that I was depressed etc, I broke down again, I had to beg her to give me a sick note otherwise I could not pay rent and she wrote me a prescription for more antidepressants. I felt suicidal leaving that day, the doctor did not believe me. I did not take the pills, I was thinking of saving all of them. The pandemic hit. My isolation is still here with me, I rarely see anyone anymore, I dread going back to my surgery cos nobody believes me, the only thing that is keeping me alive is my parents as I don't want them upset but they live in another country. Everyday I wake up (lucky if I can get 3 hours sleep a night), thinking I want my life to end as i feel stir crazy. My confidence is at a low, i uses to be so vibrant, laugh and enjoy life, now i just feel like i am meant to be dead. I am tired of living in fear and i maintain myself as best as i can bùt i know i am not me anymore. Anxiety, lack of sleep, lack of appetite, hair loss, vaginal dryness, problems with concentration, feeling hot and then cold, and crying. Deep breathes help sometimes. I don't know if I can handle another year of this torture, i am 49. Even afraid to pick up the phone to get a doctors appointment now terrifies me.